I read somewhere sonewhat put that reading a book or makin peons can help I believe I might have this Alexi thing because I'm left all the time not knowing what I'm doing or striving for or why I don't love or care about anything it makes me sad I waited so long for love but it never came so I forced it once and let so one who liked me go ahead and love me I was fine until he starts tellin me he loved me I just would repeat the thing back that he would say but he saw rite thru me it's hard to mimic other humans as I am I do feel like a robot idk I have a very bad memorie then anyone I ever kno I have sever panick attacks and can never see past today it's so foggy all I see i see is death or death near hurts so much I can't breath I wish I had something substantial for me to hold onto so I kno I'm real and there's a lot to live for its just hard for me to kno how I feel and I don't get a lot of things when people speak Nd have different emotions o can only try and wonder idk this is probably babbleling to many f u but I'm tired of feeling alone and not connected with anything but I'm going to take that women's advice so I wrote a poem in 3 minutes and this is what came out maybe this is how I feel? I just don't understand is something I repeat inside in my head like a hym or a song that is over played dare I say until I'm dead fear is all I have and pain is my nurturing, blindness is my mother and unserity my waking father Inside build me how long can I b this weak for its all I kno so how can this end without a horrible finale inside my head I think deeply more inside then anyone could over conceive I think deeper then the stars and beyond into a black hole of a dorment state getting lost in the what ifs and what was and what could b until my brain triggers like an electric storm hurting myself with this ball of a knot trying to breath but seems impossible when so deep inside of me!!!! I continue to write after this one it amazes me sometimes I think I'm dumb but my mind runs with this prom writing so easily it's more emotions on a paper that I wish or I guess I feel I kinda like it I just might keep this hobby
I see you posted this some five months ago. I enjoyed reading your writings. Have you written any more since. You mentioned you may do.
I have just discovered that I probably have Alexithymia. Although my partner of 30+ years fully accepts the diagnosis he thinks that now I know I should be able to change my behaviour. He believes that not being able to put others feelings first is ego-centred. I would appreciate any thoughts on this.
Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personal trait which affects roughly 10% of the population.
Alexithymia describes the difficulty of people to perceive and describe emotions of others and themselves. Most persons concerned are not aware about this deficit and usually they are just recognizing it in contact with others, especially close friends, within their family or their partner.
These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and generally interested people.