Dating someone with alexithymia


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AuthorMessageTime
Lillian986
Dating someone with alexithymia
2018-03-23
I used to being dating a guy with alexithymia. He told me about his condition when we first met and told me not to start caring about him in any way because he will care about me back. Long story short we got really close and a while later he told me he loved me. It was hard for me to believe at first but I truly think he did. I fell for him, I loved him with all my heart, I still do...

I really betrayed his trust and we kept on getting into fights after I told him what I did. That last fight we got into I told him he was awful because he told me he stopped feeling. I regret it so so much. I tried apologizing many times and I sent him a long ass message telling him how much I care about him. He hasn't replied and it's been two weeks.

First of all he's very suicidal, especially after we broke up. He told me things like "I think of you the same way I think of air", he claimed im the most important person in his life and i'm the only one who has ever made him happy. I haven't seen him since that fight so I have no idea how he's doing. He self harms even when we were together. Im worried sick, he said he contemplated suicide last time we broke up...

So here's my question, he claimed he stop feeling and I read on a lot of alexithymia forums that people with alexithymia don't tend to miss anyone. Does he miss me? I just want to know what he's feeling, it's hard for me to understand him and I try my best but I don't understand what's going on in his head sometimes. I would be so grateful if someone with the condition would give me some insight into what they think he's feeling or what I can do to get him to talk to me again. (our relationship is somewhat long distance and the circumstances are complicated so I can't go check up on him in person at the moment).
Beej
2018-04-04
22:10
We can't all speak for each other. But in my experience, I frequently 'drop' people. I'll fall off, disappear like I never knew them. It is very possible, as in my own relationship, that you really were/are the only person he cares about. And we can care very deeply. We just don't understand why or how. So he may fall off as a coping mechanism. Alexithymia is a great 'condition' for people who want to disappear.


ALEXITHYMIA .us .org .com .info Terms/Impressum [13:53:10]:UID:
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Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personal trait which affects roughly 10% of the population.

Alexithymia describes the difficulty of people to perceive and describe emotions of others and themselves. Most persons concerned are not aware about this deficit and usually they are just recognizing it in contact with others, especially close friends, within their family or their partner.

These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and generally interested people.