Do I Care About You?


Do I Care About You?
I have a highly narcissistic friend, and often times he questions his own empathy for other people. He once sent me a very long questionnaire that would determine how empathetic I am. I eventually started to cry. I couldn't answer most of the questions. A lot of them I just didn't understand. My alexithymia has never troubled me before like it did then. But for some reason, the fact that I didn't even know if I cared about people and the fact that I never knew how I felt in general, really bothered me.
If you can't feel anything and can't relate to others emotionally, why would it upset you that you're different? I scored 152 on the questionnaire but my lack of emotions and connections to others isn't distressing to me, it's merely a fact which is neither good nor bad (like the sky is blue, but not green).

I suspect you might believe you're missing out and that may have caused you distress. Personally there are pros and cons to everything. Focus on the pros of alexithymia and accept that you're different, but that doesn't means its wrong or bad.
I can feel things. If you got so high on the test I'd think you'd know that alexithymia isn't about not feeling. It's not knowing what you're feeling. And I don't care about being different or "missing out". Alexithymia is a blessing and a curse. But it's not "missing out" that upset me
If you got so high on the test I'd think you'd know that alexithymia isn't about not feeling.

There are different experiences of it. Some alexithymics just have difficulty explaining or verbalizing the emotions they do feel, but for others, it is about not feeling certain emotions at all. Usually, some basic ones that "everyone" shares - such as love, hate, attachment, etc. The other common variance is only feeling the extremes of emotion, like anger or fear, but nothing else.
I know for me there is a distinct lack of feeling certain emotions. Especially the "connection" emotions like empathy. Just not there. At all. As in the original question, were someone to ask if I cared about them for example - if they meant emotionally, then no. Because as far as I'm aware, I can't. Do I have a vested opinion in the ethical position of their continued wellbeing as a sentient being on this planet? Absolutely.
I wonder about it at times, the proverbial "what if" and whether it can be altered and what would be different if I did, but being faced with being alexithymic wouldn't incite any kind of extreme response.
There is a significant difference between feeling emotions and being able to recognize or describe emotions.

I would or do well on a test asking to identify or describe emotions. I do feel the primary ones like happiness and sadness and frustration, lots of indifference. Though I certainly do care, it shows in my actions.

ALEXITHYMIA .us .org .com .info Terms/Impressum [17:51:22]:UID:
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Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personal trait which affects roughly 10% of the population.

Alexithymia describes the difficulty of people to perceive and describe emotions of others and themselves. Most persons concerned are not aware about this deficit and usually they are just recognizing it in contact with others, especially close friends, within their family or their partner.

These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and generally interested people.