Does my Boyfriend Have Alexithymie?


Does my Boyfriend Have Alexithymie?
I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and noticed over time his lack of emotion and empathy. This is a bit difficult for me to understand, being a really emotional and sensitive person. I know he has ADD and know that can cause people to have a lack of emotion, but I feel like it might be someone else? I've never met anyone like him before. He just doesn't care about most things and never expresses negative emotions or seems to understand and care about others. For ex: When one of his co-worker's husband passed he just said "oh that sucks". When his grandma passed last month he seemed really flatline, like he didn't know how to act or feel if that makes any sense. When I try to have conversations with him about the relationship or things that are bothering me ect. I honestly can't tell if he fully understands what I tell him. He says he gets it but doesn't show or act like he does. Or when I get frustrated or annoyed with him I can tell he doesn't understand why, even when I tell him. He'll apologize but it's the kind of apology someone says just to appease the other person. He'll also sometimes say things and make comments that can come across rude and hurtful to others though he didn't see the issue, and I tried to explain that to him. He also has his moments of coming across selfish and self-centered. I know that he loves and cares for me, he tells me he loves me all the time. His best friend even said that my boyfriend told him he'd be sad if we broke up and how that was a really intense thing for him to say. He is a very good and loyal friend and boyfriend with a good heart I just don't understand him sometimes. I know he doesn't act this way intentionally, but like I said it can sometimes be hurtful. I really think this isn't just being an "unemotional" person it's definitely something else. The behavior can cause problems at times but I've been doing research for months trying to get an answer and understand how he is. Today I stumbled upon alexithymia and was wondering if this is possibly it? I'd really appreciate any feedback on what everyone else thinks! Thank you!
I can relate to several ways you describe your boyfriend. Since his behavior has such a big impact on your relationship, I suggest you both take the test independently and then communicate honestly about the individual questions. This will give you a basis for deciding about the future of this relationship.

ALEXITHYMIA .us .org .com .info Terms/Impressum [21:19:28]:UID:
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Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personal trait which affects roughly 10% of the population.

Alexithymia describes the difficulty of people to perceive and describe emotions of others and themselves. Most persons concerned are not aware about this deficit and usually they are just recognizing it in contact with others, especially close friends, within their family or their partner.

These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and generally interested people.