My name is Jeferson, I’m 24 years ago. After reflect a time, and seeing that I am different than my family, I began to look for information on conditions that were similar to my personality, and that characterized me. Alexithymia is the condition, of which more trait I present. Especially because of my low compression of feelings. I don’t know if I sad, happy or angry, or if I’m stressed or frustrated. Much less if I’m in love. For me this feelings aren’t more that words, difficultly I understand them. Most of the time I prefer to be alone, I speak little even with my family, and I almost never go out with my friends.
My parents have said me that I’m serious and cold, I never tell them I love them, I’m not able to say it, I don’t know why. When my mother cries, I don’t have the ability to comfort her, I can only stand by her side and touch her head while she calms down. But I know I love them, my heart is accelerating, I tremble when I think something can happen to them.
Seldom have I cried, and when I do, I not know why, usually happens if I see a video or movie whose background music is soundtrack, should be both things at once, alone or the video or audio does not affect me, and even if I cry, it’s not because of sadness. I watch movie and sometimes I laugh, some joke also provoke me the same, but you cannot say that I’m happy or something, I just laugh at the time and sometimes not because I laugh, it seems an automatic response.
I’ve never had a girlfriend, and although I’m pretty curious about sex, I’ve never thought about going with a sex worker just for it. As for pornography and masturbation, often I do both.
I apologies if I’m very specific, but I want to be the most honest and not leave gaps in my writing. I hope you can answer honestly if you think that I have or not alexithymia.
In the test I obtained a score of 158.
Again, Hello and a pleasure to meet you.
Okay. So are you or are you not Alexithemic. Well... I guess a lot of people can easily express traits and still identify with their emotions... So the whole thing can seem a tad wishy-washy. Anyhow~ I believe... I have terrible recall... That some of the articles on this site state that it is produced from trauma or heriditary... Your mother seem like an emotional person? But I have a personal theory that it's no so much hereditary but the fact that if a mother were to my make appropriate expressions I her child, or if she were to ignore her child, the child would grow up to show emotionally stunted or even autistic traits. This could also display as Alexithymia and would seem hereditary. In saying this... You could attempt for a diagnosis, but I believe... Again, I have terrible recall, that they can/ will only give you the diagnosis with a pre existing condition such as autism, Aspergers, and other things that CAN stunt emotions and emotional growth and so on, or if you have a trauma.
This really wasn't helpful. Sorry~
I have found that even if you have a hard time telling people you love them, either from a block or lack of ability to emotionally connect, it can be beneficial to do so. Try practicing infront of a mirror, simply say the words. Once you can express that sentiment to those you care about things should help improve between you and your family. It wont solve all your problems but it may ease their suffering.
For comforting physical contact is good. Telling them nice things can also be good, I have found saying things like "I appreciate what you do for me, and want you to be happy" while sounding some what robotic to them, can also make them feel better.
The best thing I have found in my personal life is trying to observe their emotional interactions and dissect what appears to make them happy or feel good and replicating that in your own actions can at least superficially make them happier to be around you.