I want someone to listen!!!
I have been dying for someone to understand me...Hypothetically speaking. I regret confronting about who I am and what I am to be. I'm too strange for even most alexithymic individuals. I have a belief that saying what I'm about to say will help the honest ones in need. Thus hear my words as you all still have an imagination.
First, I scored 138 on the test, but I disagree with it. My score should be significantly higher, but why? Not that im bragging to be the one of the most alexithymic person out there but here's what I have to say. The stronger your alexythemia, THE LESS YOU CAN BE DEPRESSED OR STRESSED! I'm deeply sorry for all who already know this. It is more or less impossible to be emotionally stressed when you are unable to understand that you are such, but vise versa with being happy. I learnt really fast that just because I can't understand my feelings doesn't mean I shouldn't know what they are. I've grown in depth to understanding why I do something. For example; when a close friend of mine is looking for emotional support, I give it to them. How?. For me, I understand that I'm being supportive but in otherwise just acting a part to that said persons needs. I watched how (at least a hundred different personalities) react to different situations. Therefor I should only act the same, with the respect that my friend knows that I give my hundred percent opinion. Whether I'm giving a hug, cuddling, or just a conversation so they can know someone is listening to them. Yeah it feels rather weird but i see it as a morale gain. Understanding close friends and helping them when they are in need isn't an impossibility.
Maybe there's others like me. I don't know anymore. I have an ability to read others minds. Not like one would think though. Its rather easy or at least I think it is. To me...well I love science and I dreamed of being an Astrophysicist, mentally speaking that isn't hard for me, but I lack determination. I've pulled this down to a science. I have a favourite question. Whats your favourite colour? Many just think of it as a simple question that means nothing. I see it as a a false wall that just got rediscovered. Why do we pick a favourite colour? Well most individuals choose one because their own personality is a representation for ones colour. Now that I know your personality I can begin to understand you by the way you interact with yourself or another's self ( this includes animal, objects other people, etc.) Why do you act that way? continually asking myself questions all in a couple seconds I can more or less decipher who and what a person is. But ...I as well as my mother who I long to love once more in the future used to meditate and to spiritual dealing. Not necessarily rituals. We spoke and connected with other beings (Spirits, Angels (good and bad), animals, etc.). To many I am weird but to most I am just a individual that is like the masses. I have an ability to see energy and auras that most people don't even know exist. When someone feels a specific way, I know. When they are lying, I know. My closest of friends all love me for the reason that i understand them and that I am easy to talk to or approach. I respect others though. I worry because what if someone doesn't want me to know about them or what if its just personal space? Yes, I've understood this. Thankfully I can control my odd behaviors of what has been noted above. I wish many more would talk to me. I have always wanted to create world peace ( you may laugh ), but maybe if you would hear what I have to say you may change your mind for the better. Please all with problems seek help but know that a solution ins't always possible.
1st Post: Scores are fickle things. One day, you could rank high. The next, low. It all depends on the day, situations and people you’ve encountered. Best time to take the test, is first thing in the morning. And don’t just take it once. Take it once a day, for a week if you have to, to achieve an average. And be brutally honest with yourself, which is key to the test. Be objective, I do. You should see fluctuations from week to week, because every day we grow a little. We’re not the same people month to month.
2 Post: There are two types of people; proactive and static. Some are angry and want to be misunderstood, because it’s all they know. Although uncomfortable at the best of times, it’s their comfort zone. Others want to fix the, and I use this term loosely, flaws, so they can get on with life.
I state my favorite colour is grey, for I am the master of puns
Based on your two revealing posts I suspect you have Schizotypal PD along with Alexithymia. You believe that for all intents and purposes you can read people’s minds, you can see auras and if people only listened to you, we could achieve world peace.
I’m not judging, merely making an observation based on the information supplied. Unfortunately your beliefs don’t tie in with the accepted mainstream reality, so you’re unlikely to be taken seriously, be listened to and make the difference you would like to.
Out of interest what is your big secret for achieving world peace?