My name is Jeferson, I’m 24 years ago. After reflect a time, and seeing that I am different than my family, I began to look for information on conditions that were similar to my personality, and that characterized me. Alexithymia is the condition, of which more trait I present. Especially because of my low compression of feelings. I don’t know if I sad, happy or angry, or if I’m stressed or frustrated. Much less if I’m in love. For me this feelings aren’t more that words, difficultly I understand them. Most of the time I prefer to be alone, I speak little even with my family, and I almost never go out with my friends.
My parents have said me that I’m serious and cold, I never tell them I love them, I’m not able to say it, I don’t know why. When my mother cries, I don’t have the ability to comfort her, I can only stand by her side and touch her head while she calms down. But I know I love them, my heart is accelerating, I tremble when I think something can happen to them.
Seldom have I cried, and when I do, I not know why, usually happens if I see a video or movie whose background music is soundtrack, should be both things at once, alone or the video or audio does not affect me, and even if I cry, it’s not because of sadness. I watch movie and sometimes I laugh, some joke also provoke me the same, but you cannot say that I’m happy or something, I just laugh at the time and sometimes not because I laugh, it seems an automatic response.
I’ve never had a girlfriend, and although I’m pretty curious about sex, I’ve never thought about going with a sex worker just for it. As for pornography and masturbation, often I do both.
I apologies if I’m very specific, but I want to be the most honest and not leave gaps in my writing. I hope you can answer honestly if you think that I have or not alexithymia.
In the test I obtained a score of 158.
Again, Hello and a pleasure to meet you.