Is this Alexithymie?


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AuthorMessageTime
Nofy
Is this Alexithymie?
2018-04-23
Im writiing here for my husband, who hasnt a account here, but both of us are interested in this topic. So questions can be asked directly to him as he also reads here. And Im sorry if its hard to understand what I wrote, english is not my first Language.

First problem, his memory. He himself often finds that he has gaps. This manifests in such a way that he was asked for something or had to do something very important, he does want to do it, but then forgets it and often does not even remember it, even after you remind him that he had to do something. He describes it as if his brain only stores certain things and a lot, even what is important, is not saved, for whatever reason.
This manifests itself in different ways, since it is not only happening when he gets asked for something, but also he often forgets things that only happend a few hours ago but sometimes even, 30 minutes, after a conversation, he doesnt knows what it was about.
On the other hand, he can remember events that have been years ago, some he can remember even better than me. And I have the feeling that everything that is connected with emotions is saved, everything that he thinks is boring, he can not keep.
Of course, the idea came up that he simply keeps a diary or writes down everything that is important. But at the evening he often does have too few memories of the day to write them down and he is so forgetful that he would rather lose the Notebook or would simply forget that he should take notes of things, to remember them.
As a result, I do all the work, such as dealing with authorities, for him or remind him several times until he has done it. We can cope with it, but we wonder.

Second problem, emotions. I already realiced from the beginning, that he is emotionaly often neutral. Although this has the advantage that in stress situations, he rather keeps a clear head, since it doesnt bother him too much but this Ability seems to me to be unusual.
If you ask him, for example, how he is doing or what is going on in his Mind, he shrugs and answers "I do not know" because he does not really deal with his emotions at all, but apparently he does not acutally experienced them. He may be angry, sad or happy but according to him, that is his body and his head is still neutral. As if his body only perceives the adrenalin, but that he does not feel the anger, for example, in his head.
So he als said that for example, he does not really know what being in Love or having a crush, feels like. He already had, that he had to think of a certain girl and then he noticed a rush of adrenaline, but that usually disappeared after a few days. Nor does he know the feeling of fear, neither the banal fear of creepy-crawlies nor anything as complex as the fear of loneliness.
It's very hard to explain everything, but he just seems very carefree to me. He seems to worry about nothing or very little. Somehow, he lives only in the moment, which has already led to some fights, because he does not think about consequences because of this carelessness, and he only realizes that something was bad or it was hurtful for others, if he is told. But he often acts after "This feels good, I'll continue" or "This doesnt feel good, I let it be" without thinking about consequences, even if it's very disadvantageous for him.

In the test, on this page, he reached a fairly high score and that's why I ask here, can it be that it is Alexithymie? And why exactly does the test have questions about sex? Because here are also some Problems with it, that felt always for me like he can not enjoy it emotionally because he is also neutral.
Beej
2018-04-23
22:58
I would not say that the first block (memory, etc.) has to do with alexithymia. On that as well, we all tend to remember things that leave an impression on us while boring things don't stick. That's just human nature.

The neutrality and emotional blindness is exactly what we're here for. I appreciate that you see the strength in it: there are considerable benefits of alexithymia. Your description is textbook alexithymia.

As for the sex, I believe you answered your own question. Emotions play a large part in sex, and the enjoyment of it is thus dampened without that emotional connection. That is why it is in the test.


ALEXITHYMIA .us .org .com .info Terms/Impressum [13:54:39]:UID:
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Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personal trait which affects roughly 10% of the population.

Alexithymia describes the difficulty of people to perceive and describe emotions of others and themselves. Most persons concerned are not aware about this deficit and usually they are just recognizing it in contact with others, especially close friends, within their family or their partner.

These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and generally interested people.