I stumbled on this site after reading a blog by Samantha Rodman and another by Allan Schwartz today. Both these articles described my emotional characteristics to a 'T'. After one Therapy session many years I was give the diagnosis of 'Passive Aggressive'. Although I believe that description to be justified, I am now convinced that the underlying problem is that I am Alexithymic, and the Passive Aggressive tendencies I display are a result of the avoidance tactics I have used since my teenage years to deflect any and all emotional engagement with others.
I am surprised though, at how little information and support there is for this condition, when there is an abundance of sites and community based help for Depression, Anxiety, PTSD and soforth.
I've always put my empathetic, dispassionate persona down to "me being me", take it or leave it. Now I am beginning to see this Alexithymia may be the cause of my emotional and social issues. I am able to trace this back some 45 years to a very unemotionally stale upbringing, and can see the damage I have brought to all my relationships and friendships since, including my current partner. I use words to convey what I think I should be feeling, and actions based on what seems to be the right thing to do at the time. Those two responses are all I have, and nearly always end in complete disaster, especially when trying to interact on an emotional level.
I hope to be an engaging member of this group in the future and look forward to hearing from other members.
Caio for now.
Because this is not officially considered a disorder and just a "trait" or characteristic, there aren't support services apart from online forums such as this. It's unfortunate as it can quite negatively affect peoples lives and create impaired social and emotional standings, but that's just how it is for now. There is also not nearly enough awareness for the issue and without some sort of definitive cure or treatment it'd be hard to develop such support services to begin with.
Thank you for the comments.
I agree, it is a very real problem especially within a relationship, and even more so when the other partner has mental health issues requiring the Alexithymic suffer to deal with very stressful and intensely emotional situations. In my experience this type of dynamic will only end in a co-dependent relationship with neither person being emotionally satisfied.e forum
I am looking for Counselling with my Alexithymia and Passive Aggression, and I will update the forum as to how I get on.
So, Ciao for now.
Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personal trait which affects roughly 10% of the population.
Alexithymia describes the difficulty of people to perceive and describe emotions of others and themselves. Most persons concerned are not aware about this deficit and usually they are just recognizing it in contact with others, especially close friends, within their family or their partner.
These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and generally interested people.