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AuthorMessageTime
Harrie
Newbie
2018-04-03
Hi Everyone
I have recently started to think I may have this condition (I didn't know it was really a thing until recently.)

As a bit of background, I had some trauma as a baby/young child, and other trauma (kind of related) over the years until I was in my late 20s. I was diagnosed bipolar but my psychiatrist & therapist both agreed that's wrong (and took it off my record) and that I have PTSD instead. Which makes a lot more sense to me as well.

Even my "bipolar" was never really emotional. I just get massive attacks of unexpressable rage where I lash out, but it's not something I feel so much as something triggered by trauma (like a flashback.)

Anyway, I've always struggled with emotional ideas - I see other people "feel" things and can't compute it, I literally have no idea what they're talking about, other than on the abstract level of "this thing is something that that society says exists and calls " Of course, I don't tell people around me about this because even though I don't get it, I do get that everyone else does and it'd be kind of mean to dismiss their experiences - I may not feel things but I'm not nasty.

I can enjoy stuff, but in a limited way. It's nice when my team wins or a tv show makes me laugh or I get a good result on a project, that kind of thing. But I wouldn't call it happy, more like... I can't even say what it is.

I can't deal with other people's emotions. If a friend has emotional trouble, I pretend to listen and make all the right noises but I just can't get my head around it. It doesn't compute for me why these things might be an issue.

I don't understand the idea of "lonely" - I hang out with friends sometimes (usually doing analytical stuff like discussing politics or doing trivia) but about 90% of the time, I'm alone. I like it better that way. People ask if I'm lonely and I just think "what even is that?"

Also I'm asexual. I did a lot of sleeping around when I was younger, because I felt there was something wrong if I didn't enjoy it so I must need to keep trying. Wrong. It did a lot of damage to me. I'm much better off just avoiding it.

I really don't get on with my family - I spend most of my time rolling my eyes at my parents, one brother I get along with but more like a friend, and the other I've spoken to maybe 8 times in 5-7 years.

Oh, I did the test, I scored 161...

Anyway, after that long waffle... hello.


ALEXITHYMIA .us .org .com .info Terms/Impressum [13:53:24]:UID:
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Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personal trait which affects roughly 10% of the population.

Alexithymia describes the difficulty of people to perceive and describe emotions of others and themselves. Most persons concerned are not aware about this deficit and usually they are just recognizing it in contact with others, especially close friends, within their family or their partner.

These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and generally interested people.