Thema: Lack of Emotion

I have always felt distant from my family like I don't belong there. About a week ago, my older brother invited me out to dinner to talk and "close some of the distance between us." I went with him, and we talked for hours about my recent breakup. While having dinner, he asked me if I felt sad; honestly, I don't. I should be sad, but I feel more confused than anything. I explained that to him, and he asked me to describe what genuine sadness felt like; I sat in silence for a minute, trying to find the words, but I couldn't. He then said, "let's make this easier. Describe to me a time at any point in your life where you felt genuinely happy." Again, I sat silently for a minute, trying to figure out a time, but I couldn't.

I took about a week to reflect on everything before I felt like I had processed the conversation, and today, the question still sits with me "what does genuine happiness feel like?" I genuinely don't know; honestly, I feel "broken" because of it. Worst of all, I want to be a clinical therapist after I graduate from college in 2 years. How am I supposed to help someone deal with their emotions if I am not even sure what those emotions feel like?