Thema: I don't care, and I don't care that I don't care

Know exactly what you feel. I scored 178 on the test. Your description is exactly like me. I do not care about anything. Most of my feelings are pure robot. Very difficult to build a relationship if you cannot relate to people too. I have no idea how alexi can be cured, I did read somewhere awhile back that hugs can help. Anyone got experience with that? People do get mad at me because I do not feel or care. But hey, what am I supposed to do? Ever try and explain alexithymia to anyone?

I can't remember what my score was, I know it was high and said I showed high tendencies, though. I read about the hug thing, too, on Cracked.com to be more specific, ha. Luckily no one's really gotten mad at me for not caring, because they too have just accepted that I'm the guy who doesn't care about/isn't bothered by much. It causes problems with girlfriends every once in a while, when they're expressing interest and stuff and I'm just like, "Oh.", but it can't be helped. I've only ever tried explaining it to one person, and she seemed to understand it pretty well, even relate to it a bit. I don't care enough to really explain it to anyone, though, and again, I don't care that I don't care, lol.

I think it sucks that some people say they're affected by Alexi in such a negative way, to the point that they can't enjoy sex, wanna die, and all the other bad stuff, because I'm really not bothered by it. In fact, I actually find it kind of nice to care as little as I do. I have to wonder, though, if I'm really not bothered by it, or if my Alexi is actually so bad that I can't be bothered by it.

I have actually felt a difference with hugs. It does seem to help a little. But how often can you get hugged when you cannot connect with people? I am basically pretty darn happy so I too cannot see why people get suicidal or depressed with alexithymia. I just live with it. One of the best things about it is you never get into the dramas of life. Being a loner is not such a bad thing. Most people have too much junk going on in their lives. I don`t. I have tried explaining it to a few people, one sorta gets it the other one does. But building a relationship with a girl is pretty darn hard. Most shrinks have not heard of it or know nothing about it so they are of no help.
I was at a party recently and I was watching people interact, I cannot do that. It is odd when you realize that you simply don` belong with people. It is not depressing though. I just get on with life.

If you Google hugs for alexithymia you will get a some legit links. Here is one.

http://munews.missouri.edu/news-releases/2011/0406-having-trouble-sharing-or-understanding-emotions-mu-researcher-believes-affection-could-help/

My experience with alexithymia involves people with lots of emotions - alexithymia comes in when they try to describe them or explain them or understand them. It's hard to work on changing anything or understanding it if you cant put it in words. Of course if you are not having the emotions there is little to describe. I have several friends with Aspergers Syndrome and one trait is a tendency to be unempathetic and not understanding (sensing) other peoples feelings. For my friends this leads to being socially "different". Because of his Aspergers, a very dear friend has the ability to say the most outrageous and startling things in social situations - he just doesn't or can't anticipate how others are going to react. I'm curious if this rings any bells ?

It sure does Elliot. I can see humor in just about anything. I have said some stupid things at the wrong time. Relatives with serious illness do not get any empathy from me. I really do not feel anything. I do have a wild sense of humor though. Is that compensating for lack of feelings? I don`t know. I am pretty good at picking up what other people are feeling by watching their body language. Maybe that is another compensating mechanism.
I get along with animals very well too. Maybe the animals can sense what is wrong?
I am pretty sure some people feel I am weird because of what I say sometimes. Nobody really knows what to expect from me. Most times I just keep quite, but then people wonder why I am so quite.
There is no simple answer to any of this.

Well... Being a female has its own difficulties when it comes to being aloof. I have only recently discovered that I have this detachment issue. It was in a sudden and unexpexted attack from a female coworker accusing me of being rude, disrespectful, condescending and sarcastic. i am not any of these, but it is probably the third time in my life i have had such an encounter.
it hasnt really been much of an issue as I only have brothers and tend to have mostly male friends.
I have the same response to the tragedies.. Bad stuff... Life goes on.

Good to hear from a female. Females deal with their emotions better than males. The majority, from what I have been able to put together, of people with alexithymia are males. No surprise there. Did any thing happen in your life that you could trace back that caused you to disconnect? Bad parenting, trauma, severe illness? I have been told in the past that I am anti social, disconnected, flippant, stupid, and ignorant. Some people have actually tried to diagnose me by telling me what is wrong! That is hilarious.

This is so uncanny, things I've known about myself for so long, and never been able to out into words.

Is it a kind of control, in that I kind of know I have certain limitations when dealing with something where my response is required. My researched and considered responses can be answering an awkward email or reacting to an incident that has ignited my indignation, down to a purely wild 'that'll do and hope for the best as I hit Send' approach as I have mentally explored each and every avenue (I think) I know something about and find I don't have the answer?

I know my wacky sense of humour has often been a saving grace, filling in some of the gaps left bare by my inability with social skills. And ironically, it can also attract women, conversationally at least, as they get to know me. And then it becomes scary as they might want to get to really know me. And I don't know myself, or necessarily like every aspect of me.

But I believe I might know a helluva lot more about me now and it gives me a kind of peace to know that I haven't been wrong all my life, as family and some friends think I am - on their terms of course - and can echo experiences as you all have described here. Elliot - I also have a colleague in a charity I work for in my spare time. He is pretty much the 'organiser' who does very much to keep it going but is blunt to any point he makes which alienates others, but only because he desires to be clear in what he is advising about what he is pretty damn good at, which others in the organisation don't participate as actively as they could. Kid him about a girlfriend and he visibly freezes, I almost hear him praying for something else to take the conversation away, and if no-one else doe he will.

I understand him better now and kn ow why we get on....
Cheers guys.