10.05.2014 von ChadP
I can write some pretty emotional poetry, but I feel like I can only write so well because I know what, or how, to. Not because I feel these things I write, but because I know others will feel the things I write.
I can write some pretty emotional poetry, but I feel like I can only write so well because I know what, or how, to. Not because I feel these things I write, but because I know others will feel the things I write.
I don't think it's weird, I think you're just more receptive to other people's feelings than your own, which is usually the case for people with Alexithymia. I've been told I can write some emotionally compelling stuff, too. It's not that I know the feelings, it's that I know of the feelings. I don't really get sad, but I see people who do, and I see what generally causes it. Same goes for happiness and other emotions.
I can communicate much better in writing than verbally. People tell me they can actually understand me when I write. I've tried writing some poetry before, but I don't really feel it; it just seems to me like it sounds good. I never read poetry because I cannot understand it. I don't mean that I don't appreciate it, but I literally cannot understand it. If you put instructions for a simple task into verse, I could not perform the task.
Im an artist whose work (I now realize) is all about this emotional struggle of what is emotions. Im new to this alexi community and now that I have a name and a description of how I dont feel. I think i will be able to make much better work. I think most of my work up to now has been interpreting other peoples emotions and now i can explore my non-emotions in my work
Hello, that's weird
from a large number of people, i am an attractive person.
I know how to use my charms,but i can't understand how people can be attracted to me, is that a symptom or something?
I also can't know how i'm feeling, i'm usually wondering if i'm attracted to many friends of mine and i let them wait a long time because i don't know my feelings. After that they run away and i regret them.
When i'm kissing a guy, i feel nothing i'm usually waiting for something but..nothing, and after that i'm always disappointed because i thought i was into them,that's the same thing with sex
I'm a virgin, but sometimes i'm wondering if i'm a sexless person,you know because i feel nothing
i did feel a little turned on, but you know that's all.
I'm rubbish at poetry, but I've been writing and performing music for years, and it's similarly puzzling. Although Alexi seems right on the mark for me in many ways, it doesn't hamper me creatively.
A couple theories as to why that is...first, I've been making music since before this trait fully realized itself. I suppose the mechanisms were already in place for it. Second, as some of you said, it could be that the very analytical state of mind makes the understanding of form and structure in art or music easier to achieve. Third, it isn't precisely that we don't have emotions, they are just buried and misunderstood by our conscious minds. So it may be that those of us who are 'creative types' connect with those stunted feelings through art unconsciously, even when we are generally unable to make that connection in normal ways.
Hello everyone!
I have just today discovered that 'Alexi' is a thing and what I am feeling (or not feeling) is something faced by many. I scored a 143 on the self-test and decided to register to understand this further.
I have read through many of the posts and am amazed at the similarity of the situations.
I just want to list a couple of things that I haven't come across in the other posts and would love your feedback in order to understand if these are within the scope of Alexi.
Extreme practicality - in dealing with tasks and situations. I just cannot put myself there to understand what another person is going through emotionally. I have a very logical and rational approach to everything.
Emotions - I can laugh at jokes but am never excited, depressed, or genuinely happy for someone else. I am not scared, surprised, shocked or startled easily. All of there emotions just cause the same restless, uneasy feeling, but that's it.
Relationships - Have a lot of friends. Have grown up with a lot of them (I'm 26 by the way). But it wouldn't make a difference to me if they all just suddenly disappeared someday.
Death - This one really bothers me sometimes. It just doesn't settle in. Everyone is there crying but I just don't get it. Don't feel a thing.
Now the following, I really need to know, if these are related symptoms.
Movie/party/concert – I don’t remember any of it the next day (No intake of alcohol :P). Well I do have a vague memory, like screenshots in my head. But no complete memory.
Food – It doesn’t matter what I am made to eat. It’s all the same. A burger from one place will taste the same as a burger from another. I really don’t care.
I sometimes don’t know whether I’m feeling hot or cold. It’s just so messed up.
I know this is a long post and if you’ve made it till here, thank you so very much for taking the time.
Sorry about that. Posted in the wrong place I guess. New to this.
I never read poetry because I cannot understand it. I don't mean that I don't appreciate it, but I literally cannot understand it.
Yeah, I have extreme difficulty reading poetry too. For some reason my eyes just skate along with the rhythm without picking up any sort of meaning. Odd that that happens to both of us.
I can't read or write poetry. Free verse is generally easier to understand, but free verse also tends to be more emotional, which I can't really pick up or understand, of course. As for writing it? I really have no idea what I'm doing. That said, I don't think it's odd that you can. It might just be formulaic to you, or perhaps you're just good at describing the feelings of others, even if you can't totally understand them.
Not feeling one less of a care as if my feeling stare trapped behind a wall of uncaring unconcerned flames that blare seems like everything passes almost hitting my head but not so close to touching for all I see is this life come and go like a cinema with no effort or force to stop just let it show let it pass without a thought without a care : ( when will I feel like the others and stop being trapped in this robotic self confusing path of non coexistence?
Good day to all,
Currently, I am in the process of writing a 4 book romance series, which my therapist finds extremely interesting, given my test results. I have taken the test several times, scoring between 162-174. It would seem, although alexithymia is clearly evident, that the severity has a direct corilation to the happening in one's life. We all experience ups and downs, struggle with circumstance and whatnot. We all have moments that drain and/or empower us. Despite that we don't perceive the world through emotional eyes, does not mean that we cannot relate.
Universally, those of us with alexithymia have learnt to "fake it", indeed. However, there are few of us who see the faking for the positive that it is. We are watchers. We don't feel or comprehend our own emotions, so we adapt. We watch and learn. We get involved in the emotional hang ups of other in order to understand. In public, we follow the emotional footprint of others to blend in.
That being said, as a writer who has no real emotional foundation of her own, I am able to write using the knowledge gained from others. Don't be afraid to ask someone's opinion. How would they feel if this happened or if that happened, whatever the scenario.
I'm a virgin, but sometimes i'm wondering if i'm a sexless person,you know because i feel nothing
i did feel a little turned on, but you know that's all.
It's possible you are Asexual. From Wikipedia:
Asexuality (or nonsexuality) is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. It may also be an umbrella term used to categorize a broader spectrum of various asexual sub-identities. A study in 2004 placed the prevalence of asexuality at 1% in the British population.
I can say that I personally don't think it's weird to have alexithymia and make emotional pieces because I do the same thing. I've made a lot of poems some. I even made it to the final round of a national contest and my poems were featured in 3 books made by the National Library of Poetry and even though I don't neccisarily feel the emotions, I find that I'm able to describe them.
My art isn't always emotional but I do have some very dramatic pieces. I think the beauty of it is that even though I don't really feel the emotions I paint and write about, I can describe them based on what others tell me and based on what I see.
I don't see why poetry would be difficult for the logical, witty, alexithymic.
I used to write a LOT of poetry when I was a teen, I have books and books filled with journaling and poetry actually. I can't say any of it was particularly good, but it certainly was poetry. I did my best to adhere to poetic semantics and grammar, getting creative with allusion and metaphor, but it was all an intellectual challenge to me. Depression and a good vocabulary go a long way in writing endeavors. I think writing was the only way I could actually get the thoughts out of my head. Whether they actually made sense to a reader was/is neither here nor there, but that certainly was part of the challenge and what was most helpful to me in figuring stuff out.
Keeping a journal can be extremely helpful for people with alexithymia. It can be used as an exploratory tool for analyzing situations that are confusing. The more I write about certain things, the more I figure out about them. I harp on stuff for years, but it all slowly starts to make sense. Hindsight is a great tool. :)
i score 131 on the test... i'm enchanted in poetry workshops how many poets are full of feeling words. and i suspect that ppl that like the spoken word are feeling junkies enjoying the feelings the poetry triggers... to me it's word salad. nonetheless i write poetry! http://www.fragmentsofascrollfromthefuture.org/