Thema: do i tell him ?

As someone with Alexi, I can't tell you how refreshing it was to find out that there was a name for this, and better yet, that it's not actually a mental illness. So, I'd tell him about it/show him this place, just to alleviate any curiosity/worry he might have. Even if you do that, though, if he has a bad case of Alexi, he still won't be able to understand/meet your emotional needs.

Yes, it is very refreshing to understand what's going on. Even if you two cannot work through it, if you love him and want to help him, at least let him know he's not a loser as a partner; he just doesn't process emotions the way most people do. Sure, he may end up alone in the long run, but he'll know why.

Just noticed your posting of about 3 years ago.

For me, love is a choice not a feeling. I can tell just about anyone that I love them, and, in my way, I do love them. Feelings can change towards a person, but, choices when made by someone like me, are not changeable depending on the situation.

Why the hell does fewer feelings and difficulty in expressing them have to be equated with "not caring" in the eyes of some people, like the OP?

Look at actions to see if he really loves you. How much is he willing to do for you beyond just the words "I love you"? It's that simple.

You can give him advice when he doesn't know how to respond emotionally in certain situations like the one you gave as example. Hopefully he's got enough respect and trust for you to be willing to listen and make the effort.

Why the hell does fewer feelings and difficulty in expressing them have to be equated with "not caring" in the eyes of some people, like the OP? Look at actions to see if he really loves you. How much is he willing to do for you beyond just the words "I love you"? It's that simple.

'Cause some people are so blinded by emotion they can't see the shape of the world around them.

Think of it this way: How many people live with GENUINELY abusive partners, but stick with it even through the verbal/mental beatings because the other says, "I love you" after? Chances are in these situations there IS a "love" emotional link... and also lots of other very unhealthy emotions.

Surely it's better to be with someone that is kind and considerate, even if they don't say "I love you"? There may not be the "love" emotional link, but the fact that they're still there means there aren't negative links either.

Yeah... Agreed. I found your first sentence very funny lol. Though, emotional people don't have to be blinded necessarily, no. Some of them, sure, then some of them can analyze more.

Some, not all.

I also suspect that some people over-play the "I cannot logic because I am too emotional!" factor. They know full well what the solution is, but playing up their own emotions gains them attention and sympathy from others... which, when I think about it, actually makes some logical sense as a response. They feel they aren't getting they attention they need at home, so they act up to get it elsewhere.

Definitely not a healthy coping mechanism, but I can see how you might end up there. And as their emotions are genuine, I should just keep out of it.

Even though I often just want to throw a bucket of cold water over them and tell them, "You're an idiot. Either leave or stay, but don't sit in the rain complaining that you're getting wet."