Thema: Scored pretty high, need some guidance.

I have never thought it was some kind of trait. I just thought that was the way I was.

It's all there, often I explain to my friends how I feel physically ill and they say that's the way certain feelings affects the body. I am aware of other people feelings as long as they are predictable, but as soon as they get heavily emotional I can't follow, is like hitting a wall.

I have been in quite a lot of relationships (As I am an outgoing and social person, I learned to trick people into thinking I do understand them) and every single one of them have ended the same way. They say they don't feel loved and think I don't care about them. Thing is, I do care, is just I don't know how to describe it and I don't feel attachment to them when they leave.

I actually think I have a good life, some friends who know me long enough to not care about me being so detached and understand that I care even though I can't show it, but I think I will never be able to love someone and have a lasting relationship or a family. As I have not attachment to my family neither.

I think I can feel like everyone else does, but I can't show it. And then when they are gone it's like "okay it was good let's move on" and i don't actually miss anyone.

The hardest thing about Alexithymia is letting down people. Countless times in my short 21 years of life.

Anyway I just wanted to share all this with someone, I was just diagnosed by a therapist and took the test out of curiosity.

(Excuse my bad english)