Thema: New to this and confused more than ever

I scored surprisingly high on the test. I didn't even know this condition existed before tonight. I was laying in bed feeling more confused and overwhelmed but numb, and I realized that I feel and describe and process emotions and feelings so differently from others. My girlfriend always tells me to tell her about how I'm feeling about how I'm doing because I don't open up enough, but I don't know what to say; I'm stressed, unhappy, depressed, anxious, confused, empty, numb, I don't know how to respond to it. I've been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, PTSD, manic depression (my therapist is straying to think it's more along the lines of borderline personality disorder), and schizoaffective disorder. I'm not quite sure if any of these have any correlation to Alexithymia, but latley I've been under even more pressure (replalsing into anorexia and other self destructive tendencies), I've been do detached and numb but I've always been that way. I'm just so confused as to what to do now. Maybe it's not Alexithymia? Maybe something else I'm not sure. This lack of being able to properly process and describe how I'm feeling, if I really am at all, has made even my therapist question me possibly being psychotic.