≡ Thema: Please help

Please help
17.01.2017 von Browneyes

I've always had a problem talking about things. I've had a lot of stress and emotion In my life and I've never talked to anyone about it because I never wanted to. I have all these feelings and emotions bottled up inside of me but as soon as someone asks what's wrong I'm empty. I can't find a single word to describe how I feel other than overwhelmed or just... Nothing. I scored a 146 on the test but then I worry maybe I'm over thinking things and I don't really have it that bad and I should stop whining. But now it's affecting my long distance relationship because I can't express what's going on inside my head. After reading posts about reading and writing those are the outlets I go to when I can't handle life. I can escape through books but I can feel my emotions through music. When I was younger I used to write a lot and that's how I dealt with things. Then my step dad took my personal writings to use against my mom in court. After that I stopped for a long time until I had to write in a creative writing course. Please help me to figure out what's wrong with me. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I have no motivation to do anything, not even laundry. I don't understand how one can feel so full they may explode but incredibly empty at the same time.

Please talk to someone
17.01.2017 von El

Okay, so I don't think you have alexithymia.
But, I advise not taking my word for it, as I don't even know I myself have it, and also only you know what's going on inside your head.

I think that you need to let your feelings out. Tell someone, tell anyone. If you don't have the words to tell a person, tell it to a character in your stories. Write it out. Turn it into a poem. Write a story about you and make that character go on a journey and work out how to find herself.

Long distance relationships are tough. But if you are in a relationship, then take the time to talk to them. Talk about the weather and sports and a bunch of crap. Get him/her to make you laugh. Talk about nothing and everything. I know what I sound like here, but this will actually help you a lot.

Cry. Just, cry. Let it all out. Don't care who's watching, just cry. Scream. Break something. Shout at all the people who did you wrong. Just let it out. Push out the poison, instead of clutching onto it.
Then eat a huge fucking pizza and then fall asleep. Sleep for hours. Sleep for days. Exhausted yourself and then let yourself sleep. Just let yourself do it.
Your mental health is more important than anything else.

If you want you can message me privately. I'm not an expert in anything, especially not anything emotional, but maybe that might be what you need.
This entire post could be utter bullshit and doesn't help you at all, and if that's the case please do ignore.

My best advice is see a professional. It's literally their job to listen to you and they will actually know what to do and exactly how to help.

Right now you are the most important person.