Topic: Is it really alexithymia?

I remember being not in touch from my emotions since I was young. There were a lot of times people would cry and feel happy emotions while they cry, and I just thought and felt... nothing, although I knew I was excited. I even reached out to ask a friend, telling her I don't feel the same happy tears or the same being moved to tears as everyone else. I even went to the extent of wanting to fake tears or fake, just so my emotions looked a lot like others'.

I also don't communicate well in relationships because when something happens that makes me sad I found myself shutting down when I wanted to communicate because I'd be so overwhelmed that I didn't know how to express what led to this feeling.

I scored 118 and 59 on the TAS. Answering the questionnaire was hard for me though because I put mostly 'undecided' because I mostly describe the problems happening and I'm not as in touch with the emotions. I can describe the word and have a big emotional vocabulary but unless the emotion is very strong I don't feel it very much.

I'm curious what others think.