Topic: I may have alexithymia

I have good empathy and can understand how others feel with good emotion e.g when someone I care about cries about a loss I will cry too, I can imagine the feelings of events that might happen like marriage and losing my own children in a store. The only things I'm questioning is I have a really hard time expressing my own emotions physically, I can write them down but sometimes i dont oftenly feel that way. I often feel like I don't matter so it's not worth the explanation. I can do sexual things to other people but I can't express what I would like so I would rather just please myself and Even after that I can sometimes feel disgusted with myself and disassociate and don't like talking about it. I've only now come to discover that I'm not alone as I've researched this because I feel that my other half doesn't feel that I love him when I express it in different ways like making him food, asking if he's okay and making sure he has everything he needs. Often he will tell me he loves me and I'll say it back but it's the bigger emotions that I can't get out even though the words are there inside but it's almost like my mouth won't let it come out.