Anger and apathy?
07.06.2014 by ZurichI can describe my emotions at a basic level, which would be the aforementioned ones listed in the title: Anger and apathy.
It is all that I constantly feel, with the lack of emotions being an emotion itself. But I wonder, to which what degree my Alexi is, as though I don't experience personally, I can perceive the emotion of another and am often called empathetic. I am very curious about emotions and such, perhaps because I want to be able to understand them without yet feeling them?
Perhaps to better understand my reasoning is to imagine a car racing game, where you are sitting perfectly still, and yet controlling a car moving about wildly--which you can understand, for your hands control the motions.
I can reason with people about why they feel something...
But suddenly I don't care enough to try and elaborate on this all.
I either don't care or am violently enraged. The only 'joy' sort of thing I find is in being able to control or manipulate others.
Does this count for Alexi? Or am I just an a-hole?
Anger and apathy...
12.06.2014 by Confused
I can relate to your description of being called emphatic (since people tell me that), even though I wouldn't describe myself as that. I find great interest in asking people about how they feel, because to me that world is just a big blur and I'd like to learn more. What people may call emphatic about me, is the fact that I can explain to THEM what they are feeling. You know, just putting words that fit their description.
I however, lack words for myself. I am lethargic, apathetic, depressed etc, all those words describe a big part of my being as it stands. At times it is replaced by a sudden outburst of anger or sadness. But after a few minutes, it's gone. Like it never happened. And then I'm back to being the numb, confused emotional self.
I took the test, got a high score. I consider myself alexithymic. However, I doubt anyone that I know would use that description. My mother even used the phrase "no, that isn't you". And what can I say? I don't know how I am.
If you are unsure, just try and describe your state of being. Pretend someone is asking you "How do you feel?", or "How are you?". Do you have an answer?
