Topic: What do I do now?

I have no I idea what to do now. Everyone around me is always naturally happy and I don't know what it feels like. I tried to ask my family about it why twice in my life. The only emotions I've ever recalled feeling is Anger and Sadness, but it barely stays for longer than 2 minutes. They looked at me and told me to "Stop trying to act cool" or tried to get me help for depression. I always thought that there is something wrong with me and that I should just get help, so I decided to find a therapist. After a year, I decided it wasn't working and lied to my mom that I was feeling better. Fed up with being able to not connect, I started taking courses on Psychology and reading articles about how to connect with others. When I entered High School, I was able to "connect" with others and make friends very quickly. Everyday, I fake a smile for everyone and I act so happy but I'm sick of it! I never feel anything. No anger, happiness, Sadness, nothing. I just want be able to act my normal way and not be hated for it! When I tried to people started getting mad with me and trying to get me help. I'm fine with faking it for a few years until I can come out, and sometimes I think I could be okay with isolating myself from everyone, but I don't want to seem like a disappointment or a freak to everyone at the same time! Is there anyway for me to cope with this until I can leave or should I just come out and hope for the best?