Alone
10.08.2016 by lostsoulI'm a 16 year old girl that is supposed to be this teenager out living in the real world and having great time with their friends, but it's not like that for me. Maintaining a friendship is such a struggle because I have real bad Alexithymia. I took the questionnaire on here and scored a 156.. but back to the friendship topic. They don't understand how I feel, or don't more or less. I don't know how I feel really or how to express it when I think I do. They always say, just tell me, just tell me, talk to me. It's hard to "just talk to you" when I don't know how to put together words to say something and half the time I can't even process things in my brain enough to put into words how I think I feel and to be honest the majority of the time I just feel empty, feeling nothing and my boyfriend and bestfriend constantly tell me to open up more and just tell them what's going on and what's wrong and how I'm feeling but the thing is I'm not and I don't know what to tell them and they don't understand how I feel and it sucks because I feel helpless except there's people wanting to help me but the question is, can they? Is there really anything they can do that will help? I just feel so alone because I don't have anybody that can relate.
I remember this.
10.08.2016 by RobotWithASoul
The strongest emotion I've felt was loneliness and It's one of the few emotions I recognize. I'm 26 years old now, but I remember your age perfectly well. You make yourself alone. You have to remember that. It's the hardest thing in the world for people like us to open up about ourselves, but it's the only thing that makes the world right. Be honest with them about who you are. Tell them you don't understand your emotions and you have a difficulty connecting with people, it will help. It doesn't mean you cannot understand your emotions and you cannot connect with people - you just have it rough. For the longest time there was nothing that even my doctors could tell me that would bring me to understanding what I had to do to feel human. I just hope you are stronger than me. True strength is not holding your emotions in, but showing them to the world. I may not have much empathy, but I know how you feel. There are other people out there who feel like you. Good luck.
To lostsoul
11.08.2016 by tiger91
Can you give a (typical) example scenario where your boyfriend or best friend wants you to talk about how you feel?
I know this sounds heartless, but...
20.08.2016 by Dave
...maybe you are with the wrong guy. If your boyfriend is asking you for something you are unable to provide, to the point that it is bothering you, maybe he's the wrong guy for you. ...and maybe you're the wrong girl for him, if you are unable to provide him with what he wants in a relationship. There are billions of people on this planet; you're not stuck on a deserted island.
Responses
30.10.2016 by lostsoul
@tiger91 my boyfriend will always be telling me how he feels about me, and then he would ask me how I feel and in a way it's like I'm overwhelmed with it because he just said how he felt and then I feel almost obligated to say something back but I don't know what to say because I don't know how to process the feelings, and then he would get mad and then just keep saying, "just tell me, open up, we're never going to work unless you open up" and it's like a mental battle with myself and then I just get frustrated with myself and feel hopeless. (sorry for the long run-on sentence)
@Dave I can totally see where you're coming from and I think you might be right, not going to lie
