Topic: I don't know what I am anymore

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

I don't know what I am anymore
25.08.2016 by groen

Hello, I am groen and I just took the test and apparently I scored 122 points, which indicates a high level of alexithymia. Now mind you, I only just found out about this condition today and researched about it until I stumbled across this page. It's cool that there's a forum on this website, so maybe I could use the forum as a platform to discuss my personal experience with dealing with my "emotions"? I hope you guys don't mind, lol.

Lately I have been feeling very down and very, very apathetic. My personality has become worse as time goes on. I remember being a really happy young girl until something just snapped inside of me and I became angry, more aggressive towards others and just plain rude. Now, I've become "emotionless" according to my family (they find my behaviour offensive in our culture) because I just don't bother talking about my emotions whenever someone (especially my mother) asks about how I feel today.. She calls me the "grumpiest and moodiest" child in the house, since I never smile/show happiness which used to hurt me when I was younger, but now I don't care about what she calls me anymore. In fact, it kind of irks me when my own siblings ask how I'm feeling when they know very well I don't like being asked how I feel, because I just can't describe my emotions properly/in simple words (or lack of emotions) and they like to use my response to make me feel bad or awkward about not knowing exactly how I am feeling. I feel like an outcast in my family, in my school, in my workplace etc. I feel numb most of the time and I don't know why. Something "traumatic" must have happened to me when I was young, because I feel that I have become a brick wall.

I don't really understand how my emotions work - I introspect myself a lot which mentally drains me because I don't like to use simple words to describe my feelings like "sad" or "alright". I tend to shrug as a response to how I'm feeling (I don't know why I do that - probably because I've become accustomed to feeling the same almost every day). What confuses and annoys me is how I think about and analyse someone one's emotional response to what I've said for so many days, weeks, even for months! And the worst part is that I always feel greatly embarrassed every time I say something awkward to people. For example, there was this one time this girl introduced herself to me and I said that her name reminded me of a character from an animated show and I assumed she would know what show I was talking about because the show is quite popular but she just looked at me confused and I nervously laughed and explained what the show was and she replied "oh...cool" with a confused face (I am already cringing as I write this ahhh). Hence why I almost never socialise with a lot of people - I fear about what they could be thinking about what I say to them.

Also, I'm surrounded by people who constantly talk about having lost their virginity, sex etc and I don't know, sex makes me feel very uncomfortable (the sheer view of even seeing someone kiss/being intimate makes me cringe and I can't fathom why some people would want to French kiss each other but anyway I'm going off a tangent). I think I might be asexual seeing as I have never felt any sexual attraction at all (and I don't think I ever will?).

Ah, I rambled for too long. What I am trying to say is I've decided not to bother "labelling" my emotions as such because to me, my emotions are almost abstract in a way. I don't understand them at the moment and I feel that over time, I'll feel more numb than I will have in the past which slightly scares me but yet I feel unnerved. I'm sorry if this writing was a mess. Sorry.

It is what it is
26.08.2016 by Jute

I prefer to think that I do have emotions but that mine are simply calibrated in a very different way to those of the majority. Most of the time I simply don't give any thought to the matter. Worrying and self analysing tends to simply take you around in unproductive circles. You are what you are, just as I am what I am, you can rage against it to your heart's content but you're unlikely to ever change anything as fundamental as what makes you who you are. It's far better if you can simply accept that you are different from the majority of other people and don't appologise for it. You are what you are, you didn't choose it, it just is what it is.

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