15.01.2018 by 50Something
Hi all.
I stumbled on this site after reading a blog by Samantha Rodman and another by Allan Schwartz today. Both these articles described my emotional characteristics to a 'T'. After one Therapy session many years I was give the diagnosis of 'Passive Aggressive'. Although I believe that description to be justified, I am now convinced that the underlying problem is that I am Alexithymic, and the Passive Aggressive tendencies I display are a result of the avoidance tactics I have used since my teenage years to deflect any and all emotional engagement with others.
I am surprised though, at how little information and support there is for this condition, when there is an abundance of sites and community based help for Depression, Anxiety, PTSD and soforth.
I've always put my empathetic, dispassionate persona down to "me being me", take it or leave it. Now I am beginning to see this Alexithymia may be the cause of my emotional and social issues. I am able to trace this back some 45 years to a very unemotionally stale upbringing, and can see the damage I have brought to all my relationships and friendships since, including my current partner. I use words to convey what I think I should be feeling, and actions based on what seems to be the right thing to do at the time. Those two responses are all I have, and nearly always end in complete disaster, especially when trying to interact on an emotional level.
I hope to be an engaging member of this group in the future and look forward to hearing from other members.
Caio for now.
50Something.